Ode to Ma

Again and again I break and I break, unwinding, reminding what I hold, what I think I need, like butter, I melt, in your heat

And I dive, deep into your ravines, caring not for the mud that flies in my eyes
Diving diving deep into you Ma, penetrating your depths

Un-peel me.

I laugh heart’s laughter, she quakes me in my boots, Ma. Ha!
Your heart’s chuckle moves Mountains in my deep

Rhythms abound in your chest, pounding my door,
Open
She bangs, I plead, open, open, open

Crying. Tears falling down your streams, rolling down my cheeks, falling off your
Cliff
Face
Bosom

Boooom. She Shakes, Me, to, My, Core.
Don’t move.
Breathe … hear her silent boom – through you she moves, like Silence Roars

FALL. Drop, dropping into you I drop
I hear you Ma, I feel you in my depths, pulsating like honey,
dripping,
like wine

Running, running, running through the streets for you, shouting your name, I die, I die
I DIE.
For you,
I die

And just when,
It seems like,
No more bones can break
You snap me like a porcelain doll, upon the mantle piece of my soul,
Smashing into smithereens,
My eyes close and, all I see, is You

Praise, praise, praise be your name Ma
You know just how to raise, my game
God’s Game
Your divine mischief is the unknowable mystery, of my Heart
I bow, a thousand bows to your shining Sun, winking Star, beaming Moon

Unfurl me like petals blown in the wind
Unclose me like Pandora’s box
Unfold my folds like Flowers opening to, Bees prying tongues
Eat me whole, and inside out, I melt into nectar for you. I’m pollen for your toes

Eye lids close, darkness brings shadows and spiders and ghosts – all your making my love
All this,
I embrace
All this you are,
I am

Never turning from that twinkle in your eye that glints in every stream and winks in every cloud
Feed me the rain drops of your eyes and shower me in hail stone kisses
I lie in your reeds, writhing upon your naked earth my dear. Fingers splayed and lips curled
You undo me

Did you hear my scream, running feet, haunting your name with my speech?
I see you. Everywhere. I look.
I see you
I see you
I Be You

 

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She Speaks

452813c1665222b7538848176a8160ddNature Speaks.
She has Secrets, and she wants you to know,
She is resurrecting.

Through whatever crack is available to her,
Like the flower bursting through concrete,
She will rise,
Because She is You.

She rises with a silent fury,
Loved by few,
Feared by many.
Her love destroys
With great accuracy
All that is not held
In the full integrity of Her.

Nothing that is You
That is Her
Can die in her Fire.

And if you dare to venture
Through the undergrowth of Her
She’ll rip those clothes off your back
And smear her clay upon your face.

Hair tangled
Eyes streaming
Mouth cackling.
She is wild and relentless,
And dances only
For wind and rain.

I’m ready Ma,
Ready for your unrelenting passion,
Ready for everything
I pushed deep
Into your soil.

Every ghost and ghoul,
Spider and beetle,
I welcome
It all.

Embroil me in your web
And eat me for breakfast
For there is nothing
I Am Not

Nothing that I Am
That is You
Can die in your clutch.

 
 

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I Am You

162ed63a845fb5145948aae23212d042There she is, this Human Being of mine …

She stands, wavering in the mist, reaching for that kiss, from Life, from Me, to soothe her weary tears.

With images of God and Sage and Bliss, I looked away from her rugged hands, creased brow, and stifled sigh.

I climbed Mountains, forged paths through forests, and gave my Life to This.

This onward movement, this onward pull, into the eternity of the promise of mySelf.

And yet, there she is,
unfaltering in her Reality.
Maybe this is what it’s all about?
To fall so deeply into Love with Her,
that God can know Her as my very Self.

 

And there she stands in the hazy fog of my refusal.
Somehow, somewhere, she got lost.
But she does not disappear.
Out of reach maybe, outside of perception,
and yet within Existence her Reality does not die.
And somewhere in that hand shake with Life, she will not let me deny or forget …
HERE YOU ARE she says!

Can you not see the utter perfection with which I have crafted every line and planted every hair?
For lifetimes I have been moulding you into the perfect image of mySelf.
Into the eternal night I weave your stories,
so that I may stagger down cobbled lanes,
into the Heart of the One who opens herSelf to me.

You paint my face upon walls, and sculpt my body upon altars, with hollow seeking eyes.
Meanwhile, I peek through the holes and roll down the tears of your emptiness, hoping that you’ll let me into fill that void and restore the twinkle in your eyes.

I have no interest in your praise or worship.
Your reaching out, your yearning, your seeking, are all ways you keep me away.

I am that tear,
I am that twinkle,
and I Am You.

 

 

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Like the Blazing Sun

Dancing_Candle_FlameLike the blazing sun I burn,

Like the Blazing Sun.

 

And the flames lick my belly like the cat licks her young and I purr like the mountain lion on its morning run.

And I will not stand for your existence when you look at me with twisted eyes of pain.

I will walk into the heart of you with a gaze like thunder, until the threads that hold your centre tear and break apart.

I will walk into the pitch black of night with only my dedication as the blade that will cut those cords of ignorance free.

I will plummet, free fall, and jump into the dark abyss with only the light of my passion guiding the way.

I insist, persist, demand the taste of the tasteless touch of your tongue.

It may be cloudy in the sky of this One, but she knows no end, and cannot settle without seeing, indeed Being, her Sun.

 

Like the blazing sun I burn,

Like the Blazing Sun.

 

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Real Woman

oya

The Real Woman is rooted in Earth, in existence
Unafraid of mess, and willing to dirty her hands,
she digs in the mud, soil flying over her shoulders,
searching for the hidden treasure she lost and left

She will do whatever it takes to unite with every forgotten part of herself
Clarity and chaos are but different sides of the same coin
As her pristine strands of hair blow and tangle in the unforgiving wind, she chuckles,
for there is not one movement in nature that can shake the clarity of her Heart

She’s the Death and the dying, the Life and the living
She’s every land slide, flood and cyclone,
the unrelenting earth quake in your heart,
and the tsunami of your tears
She’s Life knocking down your door when you’re in hiding,
and no matter how you try, you can’t resist her Siren call

Her fierce embrace is the strength of her love
and every door that she opens gives birth to her immensity in you,
while every door that she slams is her command
to let die what must die for her to live through you

And if you surrender, if you give way to her burning blinding light,
she will show you the core of that light, which is black as night
But do not turn away, do not run into the light,
for her darkness is bright, and will burst all your corners
and burn through your fight

Now put down your armour, for this is a battle you cannot win,
and do what you came here to do, your work is waiting for you
Smash the mirror and wash that crap off your face, for your vanity is a disgrace
Your attention is precious and not to be squandered and spent,
your Soul demands your focus and your focus demands your strength

There is nothing to protect, it’s a fallacy
It’s a lie, and yes you can rage and cry because you’ve been living that lie
Anything less than your untamed spirit is not meant to survive

The woman that thrives today is false, like a porcelain doll
Glassy eyed, she smashes with ease
Let her fall off the mantle piece
The sleeping beauty that knows not that she sleeps

Let your clay mask drop on the floor
Put your hands in the mud and see what lies raw
That which you buried and forgot
The key they told you not to use
The one you told yourself to lose

You thought you could control her,
but every imposition made holes where there were none
Now she is bleeding, heavy under your hand,
but it’s your heart that is weeping

Open your hands and dance the wild dance that ladies dare not dance
Prostrate to the sun and the moon and wail for every wasted minute
Look your carelessness in the face
Be the balmy eyes that heal and seal old wounds
Do not shy away from your dis-grace

Grow your nails and pick out every splinter and stub
Open your eyes and cry till the tears run clear
She cares not for shallow ideals
Imploding limitation is the name of her game,
eroding false concepts, and dissolving pain

And her radiance shines through the lines and creases of her wisdom
Weather beaten but never down trodden, her vital force prevails
Sun shining and moon beaming, her smile lights up the forgotten places in your Soul,
To bring back into wholeness, that which you cast into a hole

Now everything is returned to nature, to its natural state
Where beauty meets with ugliness, and destiny with fate

True woman, Real woman, Clear woman,

I FALL AT YOUR FEET

 

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